“Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’ And they divided up his clothes by casting lots” (Luke 23:32–34 NIV).
Did you ever hold a grudge toward someone you couldn’t forgive? I remember how my 12-Step recovery program required me to extend forgiveness and make amends to a huge list of people I resented.
However, Jesus held no grudges against his enemies, even as He hung on the cross. He prayed for His enemies and asked the Father to forgive those who tortured and crucified Him (Luke 23:34).
How can we learn to forgive the way Jesus did?
Find inspiration from Rwanda
A long-standing division between poor Hutu farmers and the wealthier Tutsi erupted into the 1994 Rwandan genocide when the Rwandan President Juvenal Habyarimana’s plane was shot down. During the 100 days of organized killing, inflammatory anti-Tutsi propaganda fueled the hate, and Hutu extremists killed nearly a million Tutsis and moderate Hutus.
In 2005, Prison Fellowship Rwanda established reconciliation villages, where hundreds of Hutu and Tutsi families now live side by side.
Imagine living next door to the person who killed your entire family. The possibility of forgiveness and reconciliation seems unlikely.
Though it’s difficult to forgive and forget, Rwandans are making progress. Peaceful, stable, and productive communities exist where convicted genocide perpetrators live alongside survivors.
Forgiveness like that only happens if people forgive the way Jesus did.
Forgive repeatedly
Have you ever questioned God’s forgiveness when you repeatedly commit the same sin?
When Peter asked how many times to forgive someone, Jesus told Peter to not just forgive seven times but seventy times seven (Matthew 18:21–22 NASB).
God forgives us, no matter how many times the act occurs, and we should do the same. Forgiveness is a gift we receive from God, but we must give it back to others.
Forgive completely
God’s forgiveness makes it as if our sins never happened. The Apostle Paul wrote, “He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross” (Colossians 2:14 NLT).
Instead of holding a grudge, the Holy Spirit helps us to forgive the way Jesus did. One slogan I remember from AA is “Let Go and Let God.” Release your grudges and resentments to God and trust Him for the outcome.
Realize you don’t have to forget
Many of the young adults in Rwanda are the children of perpetrators or survivors of the genocide. Some were born of rape or orphaned.
Imagine living next door to the person who murdered your family. Could you forgive them?
Perhaps you could, but realize it might be impossible to forget.
But we can still forgive the way Jesus did. The Bible says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13 NIV).
It’s alright to feel hurt, angry, or betrayed even after forgiving those who caused you pain. Trust God can use your pain for His good purposes (Romans 8:28).
Final words
When I’m tempted to hold a grudge, I think of Rwandans forgiving their neighbors after the genocide, and how Jesus forgave those who killed Him.
Also, consider the reconciliation villages and realize that Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection was the ultimate act of reconciliation. It accomplished what we could never do on our own—reconcile us with God.
The good news is: salvation is always available. Jesus died for everyone. You only have to acknowledge once that Jesus died for you, then turn from sin and follow Him. God forgives completely, repeatedly, and forever!
