Beginning My Amazing Journey Back to God

 “Would you like a Bible?” the smiling woman inquired as she extended the small white Bible to me while I was at work in a doctor’s office. I thought, “who needs a Bible, for sure not me.” Hesitating, I almost said “no thanks.” But I reached out and took it. Later, I tossed it in the trunk of my car and promptly forgot about it.

One year later, in another doctor’s office, I attempted to process the dreaded words. You have cancer. Cancer. Me? How can that be possible? Confronting surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation. I was alone and afraid, with no friends or family support.

When hearing the news of my diagnosis, a coworker told me, “Try praying and reading the Bible. It will be a comfort to you.”  

“Read the Bible? Do I even have a Bible?” Suddenly, I recalled the small white Bible. I rummaged around in the trunk of my car and there it was, exactly where I had thoughtlessly tossed it a year ago.

I opened the Bible and remembered memorizing Psalm 23 in my childhood. So I read the verse, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me” (Psalm 23:4, KJV).

Tears welled up as I read the familiar verses. I realized God is my Good Shepherd, who protects and provides for me during this dark and scary season of my life. God guards me as the shepherd guards the sheep with his rod and staff. He gives me strength and courage to face the fear of the unknown.

Some might say receiving and finding the Bible in my trunk was a coincidence. But there are no coincidences with God.

Jesus told a parable about the lost sheep, “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’  I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent” (Luke 15:4-7, NIV).

Each person is precious to God. He pursued me for years until I finally accepted Him and began my journey back to God. He guided my coworker to speak words into my heart. And He even orchestrated events so I would have this exact Bible in my hands when I needed it.

This happened eighteen years ago—the beginning of my cancer journey. God was with me on that journey. He supplied excellent medical care, a generous boss who let me take time off, and healing from all disease. Also, I began my journey to find God again and accept Him into my life after a long absence. I attended church, joined a small group, and found new friends to support me.

I still have that little white Bible to remind me how I began my journey back to God.

A famous painting by William Holman Hunt called The Light of the World portrays Jesus knocking on a door, “‘Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends. Those who are victorious will sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat with my Father on his throne'” (Revelation 3:20-21, NLT).

If you look closely at the door in the painting, you notice there is no doorknob on the outside of the door. We can only open it from the inside.

God pursues us and knocks at the door of our hearts. But it’s up to us to hear His knock and let Him in. Is God pursuing you today?