As a single person, I envy married couples. “I wouldn’t be lonely anymore if I was married. Maybe if I had a husband to love and care for me like she does, I would be happy.”
I complained about being single to a married coworker. She countered, “But you can go home, relax and do whatever you want. You don’t have to cook dinner. You can even eat popcorn for dinner.”
She envies me? I assumed no one envied me for being single and alone. Isn’t it interesting that we are envying each other?
Do you struggle with envy the way I do? Is envy harmful? What are steps to conquer envy?
What is envy?
We might consider envy to be not so harmful on the sin spectrum.
However, in the Ten Commandments, we read God’s explicit instructions not to covet any possessions of our neighbors (Exodus 20:17). Several New Testament authors, including Paul and Peter, also warn against envy (Galatians 5:19-21, I Peter 2:1-2).
Are envy and coveting the same thing? Yes, they are. And both are sins.
Both envy and coveting are desiring what someone else has, even to the point of wishing the person would lose what they had, so you feel better about yourself. If we want what others have instead of what God has graciously given us, we do not fulfill God’s plan for our lives.
Envy, resentment and dissatisfaction with what we have keeps us from celebrating the success of ourselves and others. The Bible says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15, ESV).
And finally, any time we want something else more than God, it becomes an idol.
Then what steps can we take to conquer envy?
Three steps to conquer envy
Embrace your uniqueness
Each of us has our own unique gifts and calling. God determined His plan for us before He created us.
One of my favorite scriptures is Ephesians 2:10 (NLT), “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”
The person we envy has what God appointed for them, not for us. Know and trust God’s unique plan for you. God made you to be you, not someone else. He “saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book.” (Psalm 139:16, NLT)
Realize we are seated in Christ and all seats are in first-class
Did you ever board an airplane and walk through the first-class cabin to your seat in the back of the plane? I see the comfortable plushy seats, plenty of leg room and flight attendants hovering over the passengers and consider, “Wouldn’t it be nice to sit up here?”
In her book, Seated with Christ: Living Freely in a Culture of Comparison, Heather Holleman tells us how Ephesians 2:6 changed her life, “And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus.”
Heather explains according to Ephesians 2:6 we are already seated with Christ. She states, “I don’t need to worry about any other seat at this table in the heavenly realms. I just sit in my seat and understand that God is working in me to live the life He has planned for me.” 1
Joy comes with knowing every seat is special. Everyone is in first-class. No one has a seat more comfortable, with a better view, or closer to Jesus. Your seat is your own, no one else’s.
Delight in God’s abundance
God called me to write my story for His glory. I look at successful writers and suppose, “Why should I bother? Who will read what I write? I am sure someone has written this before.”
But our God is a God of abundance. He will supply everything we need to fulfill His plans.
Scripture states, “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness” (2 Peter 1:3, NIV).
Rick Warren wrote about our misguided thoughts about God. Believing the world is a big pie. And if someone got a big slice, it leaves less for me. But God will keep making more pie!
God prepares a bountiful table for everyone who accepts His invitation to be seated. Each of us has our own unique and perfect seat at the table and a delicious slice of our favorite pie in front of us. My slice of pie is exactly right for me, as are yours and my coworker’s, and there is enough pie for everyone!
Reference
- Holleman, H. (2015). Seated with Christ: Living freely in a culture of comparison (p. 63). Chicago, IL: Moody.
Another post where I quote this book: https://godswaytowellness.com/stop-people-pleasing/
Posts on my singleness journey: https://godswaytowellness.com/tag/singleness/
“Joy comes with knowing every seat is special. Everyone is in first-class. No one has a seat more comfortable, with a better view, or closer to Jesus. Your seat is your own, no one else’s.”
Love this!❤️
Thank you Darla! I appreciate your comment.
I enjoyed this weeks topic of envy and covetousness. Especially because I just memorized the 10 commandments and I have been thinking in depth there meanings. Thanks for a refreshing perspective.
Tom, I thought you would like this post since you suggested I write about the Ten Commandments. Thanks so much for reading and commenting! It means a lot to me.